Like mother, like daughter...

Today in my newsfeed on Facebook was a link to a letter written by a gal to her mom.

I read that letter and it resonated within me in such a way I was just speechless.

I could have written that letter to my mom.

To read it was healing for me. I only wish my mom could've read it. It would have been healing for her too.

Grab a Kleenex....you can read the letter right here

My mom struggled the entire 65 years of her life with her weight. She never felt pretty, she never liked how she looked. She hated shopping for clothes.

My mom had wonderful willpower when it came to a diet. She was able to deny, deny, deny....just long enough to get to a weight she wanted to be. I remember her doing that for my wedding. She dieted for months to lose weight for my special day...

Isn't she beautiful??

 

My mom was beautiful. She was the life of the party and lit up rooms when she entered it. She had an energy that was contagious. People liked being with my mom.

 

But, she lived in a silent pain. She didn't love herself. She believed the lie that her significance, worth and beauty was based on her size. Believing that, she believed she had no significance, no worth and no beauty.

 

That is so far from truth. My mom was a wonderful mom. She loved her 5 children. She loved us a lot. Mom wasn't perfect...no mom is, but she loved us.

 

My mom died in 2001 from a resurgence of breast cancer that she had battled 10 years earlier.

I remember standing at her memorial, nodding my head in agreement to all those who would fondly tell me what mom meant to them. There was a recurring theme throughout that day....

 

....my mom was remembered for her love, her joy, her "lighting up the room" she was in.

 

Not. one. person. mentioned my mom's size.... not. one. Nor has anyone EVER in the 12 years she's been gone...

 

Now, I realize, no one in their right mind is going to talk about someone's size at their funeral...but what occurred to me that day was just what my mom was remembered for...what was right there blaring at me....her personality won....her personality was what people talked about, what people still talk about when I see her friends.

 

Fast forward to today....

 

I lived with that silent pain myself. My mom always told me I was going to be fat..."just like her"....and like my mom, I also believed to be fat meant to be worthless, ugly...horrible.

 

Mom wasn't being mean, in fact, just the opposite, my mom was trying to protect me from the pain she lived with all her life.

 

I've counted calories, denied myself, tried new fad diets....all in the attempts to reconciling how I felt with how I looked. I wanted to "feel" good about myself, and I too, believed the lie that I would "feel" good about myself when I was "thinner"...

 

 

But, I know better, now.

 

God taught me much in and through the death of my mom. I'm sad for my mom that she struggled so much with her weight. I am sad that so much of her time was spent worrying about her body size and how she could shrink it...time that would have been better spent seizing the life she had.

 

...and God showed me that much of my time, I was doing the same...

 

It was a wake up call...a wake up call for me to seize the precious moments I have. To live them fully and completely. To make the changes I wanted to make in the midst of living life to the fullest.

 

I still struggle, I still stumble and some days I just feel like giving in to the lies, believing that my worth, significance and beauty is bound up in the size of my waist....but God desires so much more than that for me, and I trust Him...and most of all, I know He loves me..

just. as. I. am...

I am His daughter and He loves me. I am His creation, and in me is His perfection.

What on earth could be more significant than that?

 

I am often told that I am "just like my mom"

 

I absolutely used to shutter when I heard that...

 

Now....I smile....

 

....and continue to "light up" the rooms I enter, bringing my mom's joy, love and laughter to those around me.

 

Thanks, mom!

Checking in...

It's been so long since I posted on my blog...so much "life" has been "lived" since my last post...uhm, back in February...

At first I thought, gosh, give it up already....it's been MONTHS since you've taken time to sit and blog...but then I thought, I may not blog much, but when I do, I love it...so, "no", I'm not going to give it up...I'm going to just jump back in and start where I feel led to go...and once I thought that, well my mind just went nuts....so very much I want to blog about:

such as:

.....my status with weight watchers...on again, off again, on again, off again...on...yes, I'm back on and yes, I will start blogging again....

....being a "foster" grandparent...my daughter and her husband just became licensed for foster care and have their first "placement"....wow, talk about a new "life" style change...for all of us...and I want to blog about it...

....empty nesting....or almost empty nesting...parenting adult children in your home...not sure how to do that...learn along with me as I blog about it...

.....T-Tapp.....new, exciting neuro-kenetic workout routine...not your typical "let's get physical" workout...but a new way of building lean tone muscle while shedding inches....getting our hormones in balance...and working the brain...no, I'm not even close to being "there" yet, but I'm learning about it, I'm trying it and so far really liking how it makes me feel...

.....my decorated sugar cookie hobby.... I've been enjoying learning new techniques for decorating them and I plan to share some of my favorite tricks.

As you can read, I have much I want to blog about. Life isn't slowing down for me, but I love to blog about how I'm living it....

so stay tuned....

My blog is back on my list of things "to do" ..... as I live life today...

Thanks for stopping by...

Cookies, Valentine's and my Mother-in-Law....

Valentine's Day is this Thursday...
Thinking about this upcoming Valentine's Day made me think of cut out cookies...

My mother-in-law {Shirley} and I used to make cut out sugar cookies and decorate them together every February for Valentine's Day plates. We'd get together the weekend before the holiday and roll and cut and talk and chat and learn more about each other in the process.

As a young gal I  had little experience at making cut out cookies. I always wrestled with sticky dough that rolled out terribly..usually cut them way to thin which resulted in a hard crunchy cookie.

I didn't like making {or eating} cut out sugar cookies...definitely not worth the mess.

And then as a new bride,  I learned his mom LOVED to make cut out sugar cookies....one year she asked me to make them with her...and a yearly tradition was born...

Making cut out cookies with her immediately started out different...she had an awesome, soft, nutmeggy {is that even a word?} cookie recipe that rolled out like play dough...oh was it fun to play with the dough. These cookies baked up nice and soft and had a wonderful delicious flavor and smell.

After they cooled, we'd whip up this soft, fluffy frosting. Now, I have to be honest with you here, after all that work rolling, cutting and baking up these beautiful heart cookies, I always felt a bit disappointed with the final product after frosting them with this wonderful, fluffy frosting.

They were ugly.  {in my humble opinion}

They tasted heavenly and most people LOVED the cookie platters they received from us, but, the "presentation" of these cookies was  lacking. Those of you that have frosted cookies with a fluffy frosting know what I'm talking about....it's just kind of messy and they don't look real pretty and they don't stack nice on a plate, and you can't package them up pretty.....

Fast forward to today, and Shirley has been gone for the last 12 Valentine's Days. Along with her went our traditional Valentine's Day cut out cookies...

but since then, along came Pinterest....and pictures of beautiful cut out sugar cookies...works of art really...using a Royal Icing so they could be detailed...stacked....presented oh so beautifully!

and then, I thought...

                                I should try this....

                                                                so I did...

and...
I liked the final product....so much that I kept trying and perfecting and playing in dough.

My new hobby developed into a love for cut out cookies...time invested in rolling, cutting and baking is oh...so...worth it... in the smiles it brings to those who recieve them.

I'm no expert, and I don't have any cookies on Pinterest {yet} but I've found a wonderful new hobby that brings back precious memories of my mother in law and the time we spent together every February....rolling, cutting, chatting and getting to know each other better!

I'm so glad I lived in those moments yesterday...they are precious memories today.

Enjoy your Valentine's Day this Thursday. Live in the moment and make a memory!

You can see my gallery of sweet things on my Facebook page HERE

Though I don't use this recipe in my creations today, I thought I'd share the memory with you! Enjoy!!

Mom Smith's Sugar Cookies

4 cups flour

1 1/2 cups suga

2 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. soda

1 tsp. nutmet

1 tsp. salt

2 tsp. vanilla

1 cup shortening

2 eggs

3/4 cup milk {approx}

 

Sift together all the dry ingredients.

Mix in the shortening w/a pastry cutter.

Break the 2 eggs into a one cup measuring cup. Fill to the one cup measure with milk. Mix this with the dry ingredients. Knead on a heavily floured surface until you can roll it out and cut. Cut with floured cookie cutters. Bake at 325* for 8 minutes. Cool and frost.

Fluffy Decorator's Frosting

4 cups powdered sugar

1 1/4 cup shortening

3 t. vanilla

2 egg whites

3 T. cold wather

1 t. lemon juice

Dump in a large mixer and whip until light and fluffy. Add color and frost cookies.

Weighing in: -.2

Well, today was my morning to weigh in. I'm happy {no, shocked, elated} to post a teeny tiny .2 loss. Why would that excite me?? To begin with, it was a loss..no matter how small, they will add up. But secondly, I'm more shocked than elated or happy...I didn't expect any loss....in fact, I was hoping, {fingers crossed, actually} that I wouldn't have to get on here, my first week's post, with a gain...

I didn't quite follow the plan this week....

As good as my intentions were last Tuesday to start anew, to begin fresh, to get going, so to speak, I wasn't ready! I hadn't set myself up for success. I didn't have good eating options in our home. My fridge wasn't full of fresh fruit and vegetables and my cupboards held little whole grain anything. I came off a very busy two weeks and just hadn't had time to replenish our groceries so I was making meals, snacks etc from a low stock {what in the world am I fixing for dinner??} kind of cupboards.

But, the good news is....it's a new week....and I have watermelon, apples, bananas, grapes and super red raspberries waiting for me...carrots, celery and all kinds of yummy veggies for salads, stir fry's and sides. My menu's are planned and I know what I'm fixing for dinner each night...this week should go way better!!

So, what didn't I do last week that I should have done?

• I didn't have my fridge/cupboards stocked with good options {see above}
• I didn't "track" my points {key to Weight Watchers, in my opinion}
• I didn't make most of my meals at home {aka...ate out too much}
• I didn't make the "best" choices at graduation parties, or Father's Day celebrations this past weekend {put the chips down already!! and that cake...what are you doing with that cake??}

But, let's not end on a bad note, what did I do this past week?...

• I ate more fruit than I did chocolate {Hey, that's big for me}
• I thought about drinking more water and actually drank more than usual
• I thought about this blog, and posting my progress {that stopped me from many seconds}
• I didn't give up....I came, I blogged and I'm moving on into this week...a new week!

Each week, I'd like to highlight a recipe/meal or awesome find of the week:

This week I'm sharing one of my favorite breakfasts. It's fast, transportable and keeps me full throughout the morning. It's a GREAT value at only 3 WWP+ {Weight Watchers points plus}

I call it simply "Banana Peanut Butter Roll-up" because that is simply just what it is...

It starts with a Mission Carb Balance Tortilla: {2 WWP+ per tortilla}

I love these Tortilla's. I use them for everything...wraps, burritoes, taco's...anything you'd want a tortilla for. With only 120 calories per tortilla and a whopping 13g. of fiber they pack a nutritional punch. I find these at Walmart {about the only thing that makes me walk through those doors}

Next, I mix up some Peanut Butter...wait you say..."mix up?"...no, I'm not talking about grinding up peanuts...uck, tried that...didn't go so well...no, I buy a product called PB2 which is peanut powder:

This stuff is great!! I love, love, love peanut butter, so for me, this was a wonderful find. Now, this is NOT your fat laden, high fructose, Jif kind of peanut butter {too bad, cuz I love that stuff}. But, it is a great alternative. Best part is it is only 1WWP+ per 2T...compared to 5WWP+ for regular peanut butter....and it makes the best roll-ups...trust me on this, I really really like peanut butter and I like this stuff...now, I wouldn't necessary eat it off the spoon {like I do Jif} but put on apples, celery and used in these roll-ups...it's awesome. I also use this in my favorite Chocolate Peanut Banana Smoothie (4WWP+) I'll post that recipe another day...
Anyhow, this is a powder form of peanuts...{basically they remove the oils, grind into a powder} You reconstitute it with water, to the consistency of your liking.
I buy my PB2 here, but I've seen it at local health food stores and on Amazon. This product also comes in a chocolate flavor, that I didn't care for...{shocking, I know}

Now, spread this on your tortilla:

Some may want to add a splash of honey here, but with the riper banana I had, it was sweet enough with out it.

Put your banana on top and roll up like a tortilla...grab a napkin and you are good to go...

Breakdown:

• Mission Carb Balance Tortilla : 2 WWP+
• PB2 powder (2T.)  1 WWP+
• Banana 0 WWP+

Grand total  3 WWP+

I had this for breakfast this morning and it kept me full all the way through to lunch. I didn't have mid morning drowsies, and I didn't snack...didn't even think about it...give it a try!

It is 5:00 here in Indiana and my dinner is in the oven {awesome Taco Chicken Burritoes @ 7 WWP+ each} and I've tracked anything and everything that has passed my lips. I've reached for watermelon instead of chocolate and added more water to my day. So, for today, my first day of my new week, I feel good about my choices....tune in next Tuesday and I'll share with you how the rest of my week went...

Until then,
~Point me to my goal~

                   

Weight Watchers: "point" me to my goal

It's a relatively easy concept to grasp...and it works.

I'm talking about the Weight Watcher's Points Plus program.

I've been off and on Weight Watchers a number of times...enough to remember the old exchanges system, again when they first launched the point system, to now the Points Plus system.

I've tried many diets, I said many, not all...and not everything. I'd be lying if I said, "I've tried everything and nothing worked until...{fill in the blank the newest diet out there}

Truth is, I have tried many, and I did have success on most of them, as long as I followed them...that in lies the problem...you see, I get tired of diets. I get tired of saying "no" to that piece of cake, or that second dinner roll, or that afternoon chocolate...or...to all those bad eating habits I've picked up in my 50 birthdays. {I know, I know..this is a dicipline problem...will get to that another day}

Most diets, or now, so-called "lifestyle changes" work if you really do them. Yes, you can lose weight eating nothing but grapefruits, yes, you can lose weight eating nothing but meat and yes you can most certainly lose weight eating little or no breads...but can you do that long term? No...I can't. Now, I didn't say YOU can't, because, I don't know what YOU can do. I just know my limitations. {and I have many when it comes to food}

This is where Weight Watchers wins it for me. It has variety {which I like}, nothing is off-limits {which I love} and it also works {ta da...winning combo here, folks}

When I've lived the Weight Watchers program, it worked.....everytime....every single time.

So, today starts a new journey for me. Yep, I'm going to start back up on Weight Watcher's Points plus program....today...and I'm going to blog about it every Tuesday, which is my weigh in day.

There....I already feel like I'll have more accountability...and that is just what I need. If I share with you my journey in this area of my life, well, then I'm going to feel a bit less inclined to eat that afternoon chocolate...{usually} since I'll have to tell you about it...you read that right...you'll get to read all about what choices I make and how that affects my end result...good and bad. {pretty and ugly}

My motivation??.....

Yep...that's right. These three lil' darlings are one reason why I want to develop better "lifestyle changes" {not to mention so many others that want me to stick around awhile}

Skinny jeans??...not me....tank tops?...so not me....bikini?....oh please...{remember 50 birthdays?}

But these precious little ones {and hopefully more!!} that call me "gramma"  make all the discipline of saying "no" {to the above forementioned} so well worth it...

So, come along with me. Allow me to be vulnerable, sharing my journey to weight loss and healthier lifestyle with you, using the Weight Watcher's Point Plus program.

I have today...and some choices I make today, will affect my tomorrow...and I want to not only see tomorrow...but LIVE in it.

I look forward to "weighing in" on Tuesdays with you!

Just "google" it...

I haven't forgotten about my blog...and I haven't learned everything there is about blogging either. I did read through what I considered the most important parts of the "Blogging for Dummies" book that I bought last weekend...only to find the answer to what I was really asking by just "google-ing" it. Gosh, who would have thought we'd have so much information right at our fingertips?

At some point this week, I felt like I was wasting time as I tried to find the answers to my questions in my newest blogging book. Don't get me wrong it did have some good information in it, just not the precise information I was looking for.

I wanted to be able to link my posts to certain "pages" that would pertain to that post. For example, if I shared a favorite recipe I wanted it to post to a "recipe" page. Or if I shared some insight on parenting, or homeschooling, it would also post on that "page"...that doesn't seem like that should be difficult to do....until you read most of an entire "blogging" book and realize you're not going to find the answer there...

So, what do I typically do when I need to find an answer...yep, I "google" it. {Why'd I even buy that book anyhow??}

What exactly was I looking for? I wasn't sure what it was called that I was wanting to do. After a few attempts at wording it right I was able to find a decent answer here.

I tried what it suggested and will work through the kinks this week.

I think I learned that I wasn't really wanting "pages", but possibly "labels" that will link to a pretend page?...I'll give this idea a go and see what happens! {this is a bit too techy for me, but if I want to have a blog, I best get used to the idea of needing to be a bit techy} techy? is that even a word??

If any of you readers out there know an easier way to do what I think I want to do, I'd be most grateful to hear from you!

Until next post....live life today, it's all you have right now!

~Tracie

Blogging for this "dummy"

I love the "For Dummies" books that are out there. I've used a few of them before. I like the simple way they guide me through new hobbies or interests.

They are a simple concept really...if you can get beyond being called a "dummie" you may just find some great information out there to help you navigate a new hobby, software or interest.

Well, I tell you this because I bought a "For Dummies" book last night!

I don't know the last time I bought a book at a store. I usually do my book buying on Amazon or Ebay. Have to admit the sticker price was shocking compared to my old standby's.
You can find a link of this book here.

But, I didn't want to wait......you see, when I start a new hobby or interest, it becomes like a disease for me...I have to learn all I can learn, as fast as I can learn so I can do what I have learned...Now, I have prime on Amazon, and they are super fast shipping books out..many times beating thier expected deliveries, but yesterday I knew I'd have this afternoon to read/play while my husband was out golfing...actually, one of the reason I'm blogging now instead of laying in my hammock reading, is to put to use one of the new things I've already learned and that is how to hyperlink something to a word....like I did up above. I hyperlinked the word "here" to take you to Amazon...I thought that was really awesome to be able to do that. I actually squealed when it worked. {those of you that know me, aren't surprised to read that}

That concept alone will come in really handy for me as I blog.

I'm not a super creative person. {on my own} I'd call myself more of a "creative copier". I can see a concept, picture or idea and run with it, but to come up with that concept, picture, idea.....nah, that's not me. So, to be able to hyperlink my readers to a blog, website, business that I get my ideas from will be an awesome way to give credit where credit is due!

So, now that I've tried something out that actually works, I'm sooooooo excited to get into this book and learn it ALL!! {ok, not ALL, but enough to put some more neat cool things on my blog}

Stay tuned and be amazed!! {there are some really creative things out there I can't wait to copy!!}